You Don't Know What You've Got Until You Lose It

They say you don't know what you've got until you lose it, well I think I knew exactly what I had...I just never thought I'd lose it.

It all began one summery Saturday morning. I was invited to a party by a friend of mine, the coolest party of the year and I had to attend. But I knew Dad wouldn't allow me to go. That's when I came up with a devious plan. I told Mum I had dance class and we must wear high heels. Unsurprisingly, she said yes, Mum was tolerant, unlike Dad.

In the afternoon, I'd gotten ready and rang my boyfriend, Dean, to meet up at a bus stop near my house. I wasn't allowed to have boyfriends, Dad always used to say they're good-for-nothing horny little bastards. I couldn't care less what Dad said, I hated Dad, he was old-fashioned, close-minded and strict, which I thought was totally uncool.

Dean and I headed to the party. Once we got there, there were about 50 kids cramped in a 2 bedroom flat, it was nothing like I imagined. Half an hour later, I told Dean I wanted to go home. The place smelt of cigarettes, weed and sweat and I just couldn't stand it. Dean begged me to stay and I just couldn't say no to those irresistible emerald green eyes.

After 4 shots of vodka, I managed to get over the smell. Dean pulled me onto the dance floor and we started dancing erotically. I was having the time of my life. After 2 more shots of vodka, I was well and truly drunk, that's when I smoked my first joint. I don't know what came over me but at that time I couldn't care.

All of a sudden, I found myself being driven home by my friend Ellen's Mum. It was 12am. Mum was standing outside the door, waiting for me. I pushed past her and went straight to my room.

Later on, she came in my room, and said to me "why are you doing this to yourself, I do everything for you, and this is how you repay me"...That's when I lashed out shouting "SHUT THE FUCK UP, ALL YOU EVER DO IS SHAG DAD, I CAN DO WHATEVER I WANT, YOU STUPID BITCH". She simply looked at me in disgust and walked out of my room.

Less than a minute later. Dad barged in. He tied my hands together with a rope and shaved all my hair off. I screamed "I hate you Dad, do me a favour and die"... I was fuming. And at 1am, I packed my stuff and ran away from home to Dean's.

I told Dean what happened and that I needed a place to sleep. Shockingly, he told me he doesn't want to be with me any more and he doesn't know what he saw in me.

It was then 1:45am and I had no choice but to go back home and so I did... Only to find the ambulance outside.

Dad had suffered a stroke and died before the ambulance got to him... It's been three years now since Dad died, I've realised being strict was Dad's way of showing that he loved me and wanted the best for me. Ever since Dad died, Mum wants nothing to do with me any more, neither does my brother Dominic.

I wish I knew exactly what I had before I lost it.


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